The Nanny Trap Read online

  Her question cut him. “I’m putting Drew’s needs before my own.”

  “That’s not going to work for you.”

  For the better part of the past five days, he’d pondered his marriage to Vicky and the way things had gone downhill toward the end. He could blame her for choosing her career over Drew, and her disinterest in being a mother had definitely led to trouble between them, but he’d married her knowing how much she identified with being a model.

  He’d been proud of her ambition. Enjoyed how she’d looked on his arm. Disregarded her insecurity as the modeling jobs dried up. She was beautiful and self-centered, exciting and infuriating. Demanding his complete attention and sulking when she didn’t receive it. Keeping her happy had required a great deal of his energy and there were days when he didn’t even try. They hadn’t had a partnership. They’d had a nonstop power struggle.

  Being with Vicky had been exciting, but many days had felt joyless. There had been weeks when being married reminded him of the loneliness he’d felt as a child when his mother stayed in Paris for long periods of time.

  “Did you know I told Bella never to contact us after Drew was born?”

  “She told me.” He wondered where his ex-wife was going with her confession. “She said it was because having her around would create confusion and complications for Drew.”

  “Partly. Mostly I hated the way you two got along. She was happy to listen to you talk about your business. The same things that bored me to death fascinated her. She made you laugh. You ate up the stories of her family. When you two were together, I felt like an outsider.”

  “We were friends,” Blake protested. “Nothing more.”

  “It was a lot. You two connected in a way that we never did. I didn’t like it.”

  “I wasn’t interested in her beyond simple friendship.”

  “Because you and I were married and you are an honorable man. But she was in love with you. It was obvious to me. So I asked her to leave us in peace.”

  Blake couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “She was not in love with me.”

  “From the start, I think. And who could blame her? I fell for you the first night we went out.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because you’re not in love with her and that’s going to break her heart one day. Do you really want to do that to her?”

  The news that Bella had once been in love with him dominated his attention. Blake heard Vicky continuing the conversation, but her words were indistinct. Was that the way Bella still felt? And he’d just let her go? Would she ever forgive him?

  “Even though you and I want different things, when my play failed, all I wanted to do was run back and have you take care of me the way you used to.”

  But he didn’t want to take care of Vicky any longer. She’d chosen her career over being a family with him. Her lies and infidelity might have put an end to their marriage, but it had been in trouble for a long time before that.

  “You and I are done,” he told her, getting to his feet.

  Not once in the month that he’d been with Bella had he longed for something different or better. Her even temper, quick mind and dry sense of humor made her wonderful company. She took care of everyone around her and didn’t expect anything in return. He’d been a skeptical fool to think she’d refuse contact with Drew because she didn’t care about him. In truth, she’d cared too much.

  Loving her was easy. Comfortable. Being with her brought him utter contentment. He hadn’t recognized the sensation as love because that wasn’t how love had been for him growing up. The love he’d known made him feel empty. Alone. He’d never known completeness.

  He’d never known real love.

  Blake plucked the glass from Vicky’s hand and tugged her to her feet. He loved Bella. Her sweetness. Her passion. Her sunny disposition and her stubbornness. She might be afraid to acknowledge it, but she wanted what he did: a family. Someone to love and sacrifice for. Someone who would be there when you needed them.

  Ignoring his ex-wife’s sputtering protests, he guided her firmly toward the front door. “Vicky, you are not the woman I want to be with anymore.”

  Her eyes narrowed in icy calculation. “You’re serious about marrying that farm girl? Think about your friends. They’ll never accept her. Your lifestyle in New York City. She’ll do nothing but make a fool of herself at the events you attend.”

  “Bella is everything I could want in a woman. If my friends don’t like her, I need new friends. And I only went to the parties because you insisted we had to be seen. I intend to be there for my son in a way my father wasn’t.” To ensure that Vicky understood this wasn’t a game and that he actually wanted her gone, Blake walked her out to her car. “I wish you all the best.”

  But his ex-wife wasn’t done. “You’re making a huge mistake.”

  “The only mistake I’ve made is not realizing sooner that I’m in love with Bella.” He opened Vicky’s car door and gestured her in. “But I’ve finally come to my senses and I have you to thank.”

  He didn’t linger to watch his ex-wife drive off. He had plans to make. Disturbed that he’d let Bella leave thinking he didn’t love her, Blake knew he had to do something to win her back. But what? Impressing her with a grand financial gesture would not be the best way to apologize. Anything he did would have to come from the heart. For a man who was able to buy everything he needed, this was a daunting realization.

  The first thing he needed to do was head to Iowa and meet her family. He never should have proposed to her without seeing where she was from and getting acquainted with the people who knew her best.

  Despite the late hour, Blake contacted his personal assistant and got her started making arrangements. Then he headed upstairs to pack and figure out what he could do for the woman who never seemed to want anything for herself.

  *

  The next morning Blake and Drew headed for Iowa. He would do whatever it took to win Bella back. He loved her. Could he convince her that he’d been a fool or would she simply believe that he was saying what she wanted to hear?

  In Dubuque, he rented a car and drove the hour and a half to the town where Bella had been born. With each mile that passed, the declarations he went over in his head grew less eloquent. By the time he turned onto the long driveway that would take him to the house, Blake had only pleading left in his arsenal.

  With a family as large as Bella’s, a strange car approaching the house was cause for curiosity. As the vehicle rolled to a stop, he was surrounded by two dogs, a goat and four children ranging in age from about five to the midteens.

  Blake exited the car, stretching as his feet hit the gravel driveway, and smiled in as friendly a manner as possible. “Hello,” he said. “I’m Blake Ford. I’m here to see Bella.”

  “She’s in New York,” one of the boys said.

  “Why do you want to see Bella?”

  A dog drew close and growled.

  “She told me she was coming home for a visit.”

  “We haven’t seen her since Christmas,” the oldest girl said. “Is that your baby?”

  “Yes.” Before Blake could stop her, she’d opened the car door and unfastened him from the seat. “His name is Drew.”

  “He looks exactly like Ben when he was a baby.”

  “I’m sure all babies look alike.”

  “Maybe.” The girl carried Drew toward the house. “Come inside and I’ll show you Ben’s baby pictures. You’ll see for yourself.”

  Blake trailed after the girl. As they neared the farmhouse, a woman stepped through the screen door. She dried her hands on a dishcloth and looked from Blake to Drew.

  “Hello,” he said, coming forward to offer her his hand. “I’m Blake Ford. We spoke on the phone a month ago.”

  “I remember,” the woman said, taking Drew from her daughter. “You said Bella took care of your son. Is this him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mama, don’t you think he loo
ks like Ben when he was a baby?”

  “He does.” Bella’s mother fastened a hard look on Blake. “Why is that, Mr. Ford?”

  “I think that’s something we should go inside and discuss.”

  Thirteen

  It only took one night of clubbing with Deidre for Bella to realize this wasn’t what she should be doing. They were out until dawn, going from club to party to breakfast with some of Deidre’s friends. By the time Bella fell into bed at five in the morning, she’d wished a hundred times that she’d spent the evening with Blake and Drew.

  During the trip back to the city, she’d decided against going to Iowa. Her family’s farm wasn’t where she belonged anymore. Home was wherever Drew lived.

  While she struggled against what her heart told her to do, Bella moped around her apartment. Restless, edgy, eating little, sleeping badly, by the fifth night, Bella’s nerves were stretched thin.

  She lay awake, staring at her ceiling, watching the day brighten and feeling as if she’d made nothing but a series of bad decisions. Yesterday, Deidre had sat her down for a reality check. Her roommate made a great deal of sense. There was no perfect relationship. If she spent her life chasing after one, she’d probably end up miserable and alone.

  But could she marry Blake and be a family with him and Drew knowing that he didn’t love her?

  Yes.

  Being with him and Drew had made her happy this summer. Deep down she’d known he didn’t love her, but she’d been more content than ever before. She belonged with Drew. And with Blake.

  The bus trip back to the Hamptons seemed endless, offering her way too much time to rehearse what she was going to say to Blake. She imagined a dozen scenarios. Each one ended with Blake throwing her out of the house and telling her never to return.

  Telling the taxi driver to wait, Bella headed up the front walk to the beach house. She rang the bell rather than use her key. Blake might be more receptive to her return if she didn’t barge in with a presumptuous air.

  Mrs. Farnes answered the door and looked surprised to see Bella. “You’re here?”

  Bella’s heart sank. “I came to see Blake.”

  “He’s not here.”

  “Did he return to New York?” She should have called before making the trip, but what she had to say needed to be said in person. She couldn’t risk Blake hanging up on her before she’d spoken her heart.

  Mrs. Farnes stepped back and gestured Bella inside. “He’s in Iowa.” The housekeeper looked amused. “Visiting you.”

  “But I didn’t go to Iowa.” She thought of all those phone calls from Blake that she’d not answered and her spirits rose. “How long has he been gone?”

  “He left yesterday morning.”

  That meant he’d been with her family for almost twenty-four hours. “I’d better call him.”

  Bella returned to the taxi and paid the driver. For the moment she wasn’t going anywhere. On her way back inside the beach house, she dialed Blake. He answered on the third ring.

  “Where are you?” he demanded.

  His concerned tone set her heart to pounding madly. “I’m at the beach house. Where are you?”

  “At your family’s farm. I’m helping your father repair the tractor. Apparently the starter has been giving him trouble.”

  “Why are you there?”

  “Because this is where you said you were coming.” Blake spoke to someone in the background before returning to their conversation. “What are you doing at the beach house?”

  “I thought you’d be here and I came back to tell you that I’m sorry I left the way I did. I want you, Drew and me to be a family if you still want me.”

  “I chased after you all the way to Iowa.” Blake’s deep voice took on a somber note. “Of course I want you. If we were in the same state, I’d show you just how much.”

  Helpless laughter seized Bella. “We have terrible timing, don’t we?”

  “I think both of us have been afraid to acknowledge what we really want for fear of being hurt.”

  Bella was impressed by his insight. “I’m not afraid anymore. That’s what I came here to tell you. For so long I’ve been running from what I wanted most—a family. I thought it would be a burden, not a joy.”

  “The way I proposed to you was so wrong. I should never have let you believe I was only thinking of Drew. The truth is I could have found any number of women who would have made Drew a good mother. Not one of them would have been the wife for me. Only you. It was awfully convenient that you were Drew’s biological mom because it gave me a way to make us a family without having to admit that I was the one who couldn’t live without you.”

  Tears wound their way down Bella’s cheeks. “Damn you, Blake. Why do you have to be so far away?”

  “Whatever impulse you’re feeling, hang on to it. I’ll be there in six hours to pick you up and bring you back.”

  “You don’t need to do that. I can fly commercial.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll call you en route to tell you what time we’re going to land.”

  “Please hurry,” Bella murmured, too overcome by emotion to be able to speak louder than a whisper. “I’ve really missed you.”

  “Elephant shoes,” Blake said in return. “See you in a few hours.”

  Bella stared at the now silent phone. “He loves me.” She looked up and realized Mrs. Farnes was returning from the kitchen, a cup of hot tea in her hand. “He loves me,” she repeated, still stunned by the realization.

  “Of course he does,” said the housekeeper with a broad smile. “That’s been obvious for a long time.”

  *

  As soon as the Gulfstream touched down and rolled to a halt at East Hampton Airport, Blake was on his feet and waiting at the door for his crew to lower the stairs. With the way cleared, he rushed down, eyes scanning the hangar for Bella. She stood off to one side, her suitcase at her feet, blue eyes seeming larger than ever in her pale face.

  Her uncertainty touched him. She wanted so badly to make others happy that most times she forgot about her own needs. He would spend the rest of his life making sure she lacked for nothing.

  Half a dozen long strides brought him within reach. He snatched her off her feet and swung her in a wide circle. Her laugh bounced off the walls of the hangar as she clutched at his shoulders. As soon as he set her down, his mouth captured hers in a long, hungry kiss that disclosed his feelings for her.

  “I missed you,” he said at long last, framing her face with his hands while he refreshed his memories of her features.

  “I missed you, too.” She gave him a shy smile. “And I can’t wait to see Drew.”

  “It’s going to be a couple hours until that happens. I left him with your family.”

  “You left him?” She looked horrified. “Do you realize my dad will probably take him for a ride on the tractor? Or one of my brothers might think it’s a great idea to introduce him to the calves. Or the girls will make him play tea party. There’s no telling what could happen.”

  Blake gave her an odd look. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. I thought you and I could use a few hours to ourselves.” He picked up her suitcase and wrapped his arm around her waist. “By the way, your mother figured out Drew is your son.”

  Bella stumbled, but Blake’s arm kept her stable and she quickly recovered. “How?”

  “Apparently he looks just like Ben did when he was a baby.”

  “That’s impossible. Drew takes after you.”

  “Not according to your family. And I’ve seen the pictures. They’re right. He has the McAndrews chin and nose.”

  “Did you explain to your mother what happened?”

  “Since I’m unsure on all the details, I thought it would be better if you told her.” It was a gentle nudge to share the story with him.

  As soon as they sat down on the plane, Bella snuggled beside Blake in one of the comfortable leather chairs, her head on his shoulder.

  “How did you find out that Victoria i
sn’t Drew’s mother?”

  “I came across some of the paperwork from the clinic. The treatment was a lot less expensive than it should have been. When I looked at the itemized statement, I noticed that the charges weren’t for in vitro, but for artificial insemination.”

  “Victoria told me her eggs weren’t viable,” Bella explained, remembering her shock when the former model had asked to use Bella’s eggs as well as have her carry the baby.

  “As far as I know that’s not true,” Blake said.

  “I guess I’m just a gullible farm girl from Iowa.” Bella burned with humiliation at being so easily duped. “I believed her.”

  “My ex-wife excelled at telling a person what they wanted to hear.” There was a hint of frustration beneath Blake’s even tone. “For years she let me believe she wanted to have a family.”

  “Maybe she didn’t know what she wanted until it was too late,” she suggested. “I know that she was determined to hold on to you.”

  “Is that how she talked you into letting us use one of your eggs?”

  “She was frantic, telling me that your marriage would be over because she couldn’t give you a baby. It was entirely plausible. Infertility can tear apart a marriage.”

  “But how did she think she could get away with lying to me about our son’s parentage?”

  “Desperate people do foolish things sometimes.” Bella stared up at his strong profile, saw the muscle move in his cheek. “I should know. I gave away my son in exchange for the money to help my parents keep their farm.”

  Blake cupped her cheek in his hand and kissed her with slow, thorough adoration. “And every day that goes by I thank heavens your parents had financial difficulties, because otherwise we never would have met and I wouldn’t have my son.”

  “I’m not sure they’d appreciate hearing you say that,” Bella teased, sliding her hand along his muscular arm, enjoying the strength of him beneath her fingertips.

  “They’re going to be my family now. I hope you realize I’m going to take good care of all your siblings.”

  Bella groaned. “Please don’t tell them that. They already see me as the cash cow. If they have any idea how generous you are, they’ll never leave you alone.”